Thursday, June 28, 2007

Tough love

Warning: The following contains graphic images. If you really, really, really love your plants, refrain from viewing.

You were beautiful and caught my eye immediately. I had been searching for the perfect match for a long time. I knew what I wanted and you delivered. It was love at first sight. You seemed so vibrant, so perky, in the full bloom of youth. I knew you were the one for me.

Convinced that you and I had a future together, I reached into my wallet and paid $22 for the privilege of taking you home.

Love for sale.

Day One: I hung you on the porch and gave you a drink. “Hydrate, hydrate” said the garden-shop clerk. And then I smiled as I watched you, in all your glory, through my kitchen window. We were off to such a promising start.

Day Two: “Hydrate, hydrate.” You were still upturned and thirsty (or so I thought) so I took my yellow watering can and sprinkled some more.

Day Three: You and I obviously missed the cues. Suddenly, oh so suddenly, you went limp. You were sagging more than I. How could one so young and lively turn into such a sad spectacle?

Day Four: Is there such a thing as CPR for a plant? Or Viagra?

Where did I go wrong? I’m sorry. Plant abuse. May I plead ignorance and lack of a green thumb? My yellow watering can, the probable culprit, has been banished to the far corner of the porch. Perhaps you like your summer hot and dry. Some like it hot.

Is there any hope of re-kindling our affair? Lift a leaf. Send me a sign.

Come back. I miss you.


geogirl said...

Awww...poor little plant. I'd love to help you out but my plants usually look about the same.

LOL! at the plant viagra.

(ps - sorry to tell you your e-mail isn't working again.)

kirsty said...

Oh no!! My dad is a botanist. My mother and I are equally famous for our ability to kill any plant within a week. I see we're in good company :)

slouching mom said...

I think I have the same type of plant (is it a double impatiens?), and it's been struggling, struggling, struggling. And I consider myself a reasonably good caretaker of plants.

Terry said...

Oh mercy! How tragic. This has cast a pall on my entire day. I simply cannot bear to think of you as a plant killer. Hide the evidence quickly and replace with a new look-alike. Post a new picture and pretend you have resuscitated this poor posy. We will all feel so much better.

The Mater said...

Glad to know I'm not alone in the plant-killing department, guys. And, yes, sm, it's an impatiens and I'm getting quite impatient with it. Funds are low, Terry, so I'll just give the thing a cut and trim today and see if any new growth takes place. After next paycheck, I'll consider a replacement :>)

In meantime, from my past, I think of a liturgical kiddie song: "Friends Are Like Flowers in the Garden of Life". Thanks for reading and supporting my blog!

Cecily said...

Oh, that plant looks very similar to my New Guinea impatiens which need a lot of water all the time. The impatiens had flopped down just like that this morning and I poured about a quart of water on them and they perked right up. Flowers in pots, and especially hanging pots in a West Mass. summer, are thirsty all the time.
Sorry this comes too late to save the plant.

raehan said...

Oh, we both have the same effect on potted plants.

It must be our beauty. They know they can't compete.

Patti McCracken said...

...and here I thought I was the genocidal gardener.

But I thnk I still hold the trophy. I killed a cactus.

geogirl said...

Mater, I tried to e-mail you something on the 4th and I just got a message saying it didn't go through.

tsaxlady said...

That is why I final hired a yard man recently. I kill anything green. Well I finally took the plunge and started into the world of blogger. Hope all is going well for you. :>)

Jennifer said...

Ooh, I can kill a plant, too.

Do you do memes? I tagged you!

So nice meeting you up in MA!


Simon said...

We have some sort of flowering plant type thing hanging under the big pine tree in the backyard. The pot was a gift from my mother to my wife on Mother's Day and we accepted it knowing how deadly our house is to living things that aren't mobile enough to scavenge their own food.

Ours looks like a similar species to yours and is not quite in the same state as yours in "Day Three". But it's getting there. If only the tree didn't hog all the rain the plant might be doing better!