Sunday, October 26, 2008

I've been abducted


It's just another day at the new gym. I try hard to look like I know what I'm doing as I make the rounds of the fitness machines and adjust the different weights, knobs, seats and handles. I really like this part of the workout much better than shaking my booty on the treadmill or elliptical. There's more to anticipate: flexing my pecs, stretching my back, curling my legs, crunching my abs, pressing my chest, and my favorite - abducting my hips. As I read the names of the exercises, I feel as if I'm auditioning for an adult movie. I have to admit that I was taught that a lady never spreads her legs in public but, hot dang, these abductor machines sure are fun!

I even meet another older guy with a mustache; we share the spray bottle as we clean off our equipment. Luckily, he is using the treadmill and doesn't see me nearly fall on my face as I try to climb out of the hip abductor. Maybe I'll meet him again over at the chest press. Be still, my heart.

Do you like the t-shirt? I decided to be bold and advertise my other talents. Just give me a few more weeks, and I'll have those silver-haired Schwarzenegger wannabes treading by my side, panting in tandem.

Tomorrow night, lap tap dancing.

5 comments:

cindi roo said...

Yeah Gym membership!

I also like to tune out on the machines. You can do nothing better for bone density health then weight training. You GO GRANDMA! Woot

Thanks for the amen.....you and my kids mimi (hungarian for grandma (we are))could relate on many levels. Not least of which: Our daughters, our hearts why do they hurt how can we help?

Respectfully, I think you are changing the future of all the Evelyns' in your world for the better.

I hope peace finds you all.

Cindi

The Mater said...

I know that many of you come here from Jenn's blog and I hope you realize that I am helping whenever and however I can. It may seem strange to see me posting about tap dancing and gym workouts but I ask you to remember that, in order to be strong for my family, I have to find ways to strengthen myself. Humor and self-deprecation helps.

katieface said...

good job, elaine! do we get to see those muscles in person in december? you can help wrangle the kids. :)

btw, don't feel like you need justify what you post. i think people forget that a blog covers only a fraction of a person's life. your blog does not need to revolve around jenn's blog. those of us in the fold know the level of support and love that is there no matter what is going on...

btw, are you as over the moon as your son about the phillies? wait, that was a silly question...

xo-k

The Mater said...

I must tell you - another old guy with a mustache was on view today at the gym. And he decided to choose a workout station right across from my hip abduction. A bit weird. I watched him do the circuit and he was flipping his workout towel around and doing rapid reps! Whoa! I know a bit about strength training and you don't do anything "rapidly" - the idea is to build stamina and hold a slow steady pace on the machines. So I didn't bother to introduce myself.

Eternally said...

That shirt rocks! Stamina and power, fer sure.

I'm telling you, it's all about the unappreciated 400 Watt Ampeg/Accordion connection.