Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Step away from the clothes

The Fashion Police have raided my closet. Translation: my daughter has decided to review her mother's wardrobe now that MOTHER HAS LANDED A NEW JOB!

Yes, I've been busy these past two weeks interviewing for a position as a college-placement counselor at a local school. Yesterday, I got the good news - they offered me the job. Today, I went to finalize the details.

Jenn, in the meantime, had decided to make sure that I didn't embarrass myself, her and her progeny, and any other living sentient being who may be related to me by showing up in something that would not a) enhance my figure and b) deconstruct style for the Baby-Boomer generation. Before I could go to my final meeting at the school, my daughter stuffed me into an Oprah-bra-of-the-month, black and sexy, all the while reminding me to "lift and tuck". She then led me to eBay to purchase my own version. This was not enough. I could tell by the glint in her eye that she was about to invade my closet. There were shrieks and moans and soon most of what I had considered "casual chic" was lying strewn across my bed begging to be delivered to the nearest thrift store. Nothing else would appease the adult child (who still has nightmares of my dressing her and her brother in multi-colored floral-print play pants when they were toddlers).

What can I say?! I'm a fashion flunkie. I would love to have a certain flair and style of my own but never found time to do the homework. My casual chic is obviously casual shriek to the 30-something generation.

I was reminded that I was too short for straight-legged pants and v-necks were the only way to go to offset my Polish genetic endowment. Handbags? Oh, she had a field day with those ... they're also leaving the premises.

It was hard giving up some of the old jackets and skirts but Jenn was adamant about her mother's image.

"No way. NO. No. Not negotiable. You've got to be kidding me. Gone. Goodbye. This is about starting over, Mom."

The Gucci Gestapo has spoken, even if she's only living high-end on Land's End.

Finding the job was rather easy compared to this next mission. I have a feeling that eBay and I are going to become quite interactive. I wonder if the fashion police are related to the local sheriff?


kirsty said...

Congratulations on the new job!! And, I guess, the new wardrobe :)

sogalitno said...

WOOHOO! Congrats and lots of good wishes on the new job!

and good for Jenn for 'helping' you with your wardrobe.

can i borrow her? (getting ready to do the same thing - the last step in my MiSSION ORGANIZATION project - well, before I do the basement storage area but thats another story)

geogirl said...

YAY!!! The mater has a job!! Which you will now need more than ever to pay for all your shopping bills. ;-)

Send Jenn down this way when she's finished with you. I still have sweaters I wore in college... 12 years ago!

Ann said...

Oh.. Congrats! I read you and Jenn all the time.. just never post.. I am a lurker.. and I am also in big favor of the multiple period.. see.
I was secretly hoping the phone call was from the Sheriff though and he was taking you out Friday night..

Anonymous said...

I hope the clothes we gave you for Christmas were spared or else I'm going to wonder what Jenn thinks of my taste... :)


Terry said...

Congratulations on the job! Working at a college actually doesn't require a lot of fashion savvy (smirk) but it's all about feeling good, so enjoy the makeover and post results to inspire the rest of us dowdy old baby boomers to clean up our own acts.

Barb said...

I need her help too! Yesterday I was dressed in the same clothes as one of my 3 yr. old daycare boys. Both of us were wearing khaki pants and gray sweatshirts.I am so glad you have a job , But sorry you won't have time now to cook and clean next door!!!!!!!!

Mills said... two sound like my daughter and I. I lost all my fashion sense yrs ago and she doesn't let me forget it. She has self-appointed herself to be my fashion consultant. Well , someone has to do it. lol.....congrats on the job! Something else good is just around the corner, I know.

doow said...

Congratulations on your new job, Mater! And, yes, v-necks are definitely the way to go :-)

LadySeduction said...

Hurray Hurray Hurray and Congrats!! See! Nothing to worry about, that didn't take long at all, it's not even close to October yet!!!
Loved our conversation, thanks again!

Contrary said...

Ha. I guess I'm not doing so bad then. My 16 year old keeps raiding my closet for stuff for her to wear.

Simon said...

That reminds me of my own mother's visit to her mum earlier this year. She forced Grandma to go through and winnow the closets. My grandmother was forced to throw stuff out that dated back to my own mother's christening... and that was 50+ years ago!!

You've got it easy!

moxiemomma said...

congrats on the job, mater!!

and oh lordy am i in for it--my 20 month old is more of a fashionista than i've ever been. just leave me to my black pants and white shirts and i'm happy. but this girl--butterflies, flowers, pink this, purple that, and the earth will open and swallow us all if the blue crocs ever disappear from view!

velocibadgergirl said...

Congrats on the job! At least Jenn didn't force you into a 360-degree-mirror, a la Stacy & Clinton. ;)

sonny boy said...

Hey Mum #2, congrats on the new job!!! Have you told The Accountant about this? She never mentioned it yesterday while we were enjoying ourselves putting flat-pack kitchen cabinets together... (yawn)

The Mater said...

These were all such great comments and I'm still LOL at the mother-daughter vibes I set into motion ...

Jenn was right though and today I felt so so confident and comfortable in my new duds at a professional workshop. This is probably worth a new blog entry ... so I'll pick it up elsewhere.

Thanks again guys for all the good wishes!